i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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