I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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