so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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