i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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