i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
