lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You're my little dorito
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
