I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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