bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
