Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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