You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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