I got her a Nickelback box set.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
