She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
