My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just googled if crying burns calories
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
