It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
