I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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