dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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