no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
