that's an acceptable place to lick
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
