Kareoke will never be a sober sport
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
