Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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