Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I will die if light touches me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
