some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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