After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
