Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
