I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
