so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize