Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Mom said you looked used
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
