I wish I could punch you in the face.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
