My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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