only you would photoshop your dick
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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