After last night, I could never be a politician.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sorry about my life...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
