The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
