Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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