I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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