I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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