I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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