My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
