the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The Olympian is in my bed
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
