I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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