Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
