My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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