My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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