Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
