my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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