we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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