Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
