there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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