I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
