Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
