I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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