Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
